Let it Rain
by ROCkER.JACkSON
Summary: With her life and heart in turmoil, Elizabeth returns to the place she would always find refuge, home. Returning back to Port Charles seemed like the best choice, but her first love could make it the worst choice she's ever made - or the best. Maybe both?
1. Chapter 1

Home. Such a simple word. Home. One syllable. Four words. Meaning somewhere safe, somewhere you come from, a place where the heart finds refuge. It was never hard for her to say where her home was. The place she felt safe. The place where her heart took refuge. Her safe haven. That was and always would be Port Charles, New York.

No matter where she went in the world, no matter how long she stayed away, it would always be home to her. After nearly ten years of being away, Elizabeth Webber is returning to her home. Returning to the place her heart could take refuge and heal. To the place where she grew up and learnt the true meaning of life.

She always knew that she'd come back. What she didn't know was the reason she'd be coming back. Every night she imagined returning home, Elizabeth never saw this coming. She never pictured herself returning with a heavy heart, aching with the loss that put an earth sized hole in her chest.

Welcome to Port Charles - or in her case, welcome back. She drives past the welcome sign, officially back in her hometown, everything looking exactly how she left it. Taking a deep breath, she forces herself to not drive slowly and heads straight to her old studio. She wasn't at all surprised that it was still available. It wasn't exactly the four seasons.

Pulling into the parking garage, Elizabeth shuts off the engine and grabs her luggage from the back seat. Its late and eerily silent in the garage, the darkness wasn't helping any. Usually one to be freaked out by the possible danger, Elizabeth doesn't even flinch. She lifts the handles on her luggage, setting her car alarm before rolling her luggage to the stairs.

Another thing she missed about home. No elevators. Taking the stairs, she arrives at her studio, unlocking the door that had kept her safe for many years. The same smells welcome her as she walks into the small run-down studio. It was as if she never left, the studio being exactly how she had left it.

"Welcome home." Elizabeth sighs, dropping down onto the raggedy couch, taking a look around her small studio. "Hope to god this was the right move."

For many years, the rumor of her returning has been circulating through the small town of Port Charles. Jason Morgan never really put much merit in town gossip - he knows first hand how things can get screwed up in transit from one person to another. This time is different though, this time his sister is the one doing the reassurance. Emily - though she is known to exaggerate sometimes - is a reliable source in everything Elizabeth Webber.

He wasn't sure how he felt about the return of rebel Webber. The history between them wasn't a very bright one and he was pretty confident in saying that she pretty much hated him. Pouring himself a drink, Jason sits down on his couch, thinking back to the last moment he saw her. The pain in her eyes had been so vibrant, it nearly killed him to watch her walk away that day. He'd never forgive himself for the way he handled things.

He was her first love and she was his. Life got in the way, like he knew it would, and he had to make decisions that would damn near kill him to make. Though its been nearly a decade, Jason still carries the guilt of that night with him. He'd never forgive himself for hurting her. For taking away the future she thought she'd have with him. For dimming the light behind that beautiful smile. For everything.

_The rain was pouring down hard - somehow it felt fitting to the moment they were in._  
_The pain and heartache was in her eyes, seeping its way into her voice. He knew that he_  
_was hurting her, but he couldn't stop. He had to push her away. He wasn't good for her._  
_He knew it - hell everyone knew it - everyone but her._

_"Jason, I love you!" she exclaims. "You know that! Why are you doing this?"_

_"I'm simply stating fact." Jason says coldly. "You and I don't work."_

_"You're lying!" she shouts, pounding against his chest with her fists. "Stop lying! You love me! You said you loved me!"_

_"I say a lot of things." Jason takes hold of her wrists, stopping her. "Doesn't mean its true."_

_"I hate you." she whispers, he could see that she believed him now. The brokenness is in her eyes. "I wish I never met you."_

_"Good." Jason pushes her wrists away - even though he wants to hold her close and recant everything he said. "Finally we agree on something."_

_She walked away from him, not taking a second look back at him. The next day she left town,_  
_no goodbyes, nothing. He knew that this was how things had to be, but it didn't stop the hurt._  
_It didn't make missing her any harder. It didn't make loving her hurt any less. It didn't help anything._

Being in the penthouse was becoming a little too overwhelming - forcing himself up off the couch, he grabs his jacket and heads out. Jason straddles his bike, needing the rush he feels every time he's on it, hoping it'll help the memories recede. In spite of what he wants, the memories start flooding back in full force. He's lost in his thoughts that he doesn't realize where he's riding to.

Before he knows it, Jason's shutting off the engine, looking up at the building that Elizabeth used to live from the docks. Its in that moment that he sees the dim light through her old studio window. An long lost feeling starts bubbling up within him at the sight of that dim light.

It had held a different meaning to him so many years ago, but now it simply meant that she was back. For a moment he sits there, just staring up at the window, a part of him wanting to walk the distance and see her again, but not moving an inch.

"Jason?" a voice says confusedly - unknowingly sending a warm feeling through his body.

"Hey." he says, turning to face her. "Welcome home."

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**-ROCkER**


	2. Chapter 2

Jason knew it would hurt, to see her after all these years, the warmth she used to radiate was no longer there. Everything he loved about her was no longer there for him to see. Her bright smile that could light up a room is replaced with a polite smile that doesn't reach her eyes. The understanding he could usually find in her eyes are replaced with this distant look - almost blank - a look he has perfected over the years. A look he never though he'd see in her eyes.

"I should get inside." her voice pulls him out of his thoughts. "It was nice seeing you."

Nice. If she had cussed him out, told him to go to hell - even shot him in cold blood - it wouldn't have stung as much as that word. Nice. To quote the woman in front of him, nice is the kiss of death. It was something you'd say when you had nothing better to say and you didn't want to say anything mean. Nice. Seeing him was "nice".

"Yeah." Jason shoves his hands into his pockets. "You too."

Elizabeth can feel the faint sense of familiarity as she stands there in front of him, but she's put that part of her life behind her a long time ago. So, instead of inviting him inside, she grants him a polite smile before walking back into her building with her groceries.

Jason watches as she walks away, knowing that it wouldn't get any easier - seeing her around town. Once the door closes behind her, Jason straddles his bike, starting it up and taking off into the night. He doesn't stop for anything, riding till the sun rises over the horizon.

Elizabeth locks the doors behind her once she's in her studio, checking and double checking to make sure the deadbolt was in place. The world had to have a sick sense of humor - thrusting him back into her life on her first night back. She wouldn't think much on it now - she couldn't think much on it.

Her appetite lost to her emotions, Elizabeth puts her groceries away and calls it a night. A long day of lawyers and legalities await her with the morning sun - sleep is desperately needed now more than ever and she hopes it'll take her over the moment her head hits the pillows. A small thank to the heavens for that is exactly what happens and - proof there are small miracles - it was mercifully a dreamless sleep.

"Yeah?" she answers, sleepily, forcing her body into a sitting position.

"I'm calling for Ms. Elizabeth Webber." the voice says formally.

"This is she." Elizabeth sits up abruptly now, knowing her day has begun.

"Good morning, ma'am." the caller greets with a soft tone. "My name is Vivian Walters, I'm with the Carson & Carson Legal Firm. I'm just calling to confirm your appointment for this morning."

"Yes. I haven't forgotten." Elizabeth forces her body off the bed, drudging towards the shower. "I'll be there promptly for the appointment."

"Very well, I'll pass that on to the team." Vivian says in that same tone, the tone that means she pities her. Elizabeth has grown accustomed to that tone - she hates it. "You have a nice day, Ms. Webber."

"You have a nice day, Ms. Webber." Elizabeth says mockingly after she ends the call. Stupid legal firm people.

Elizabeth takes a quick shower, ironing out the wrinkles from the first outfit she pulled out of the luggage, heading straight to the diner for bearable coffee. The coffee at the law firm, here and in San Francisco was horrid - if she's going to deal with lawyers, she needed the good stuff.

"Lizzie?" a familiar voice calls out, making her wish she never walked into the diner. "Lizzie Webber? Oh my gosh, it is you!"

"Emily." Elizabeth puts on her polite smile. "How nice to see you again. How're you doing?"

"Oh, I'm great." Emily smiles brightly. "You look so different...you've really grown up, sweetie."

"_I'm older than you,sweetie._" Elizabeth thinks to herself, keeping the polite smile on her face. "I'm just here for coffee."

"Right. Well you should come by Spoon Island sometime. Nikolas and I...we're getting married, you know?" Emily points out, showing Elizabeth her ring. "Yeah...anyway, we'd love to have you over. To catch up and whatnot."

"Sure." Elizabeth finally gets to the counter, ordering her coffee and paying for it. "Congratulations, on the marriage thing."

"Thank you!" Emily smiles brightly - as if Elizabeth had given her a lavishing compliment. "Nikolas and I have been together for so long that we figured why not...its not like we're ever going to be with anyone else, right? I mean, we're meant to be together forever."

"It was nice to see you, but I really have to go." Elizabeth takes her coffee from the waitress. "I'll keep your invitation in mind, though."

"You do that." Emily says, watching Elizabeth walk towards the door. "Welcome home."

"Thanks." Elizabeth calls over her shoulder, walking to her car as fast as she can manage, not wanting to see anyone else from her past before she has her first cup of coffee.

Jason unlocks the door to his garage, he had a lot of work ahead of him. When he decided to open up a garage, his best friend Sonny told him he was crazy, but he footed the bill regardless. Sonny had faith in him and Jason had been glad that it panned out. Only he had no idea that all of Port Charles would use his garage as their primary place to get their vehicles detailed and upgraded.

With only three mechanics working the garage, Jason had to put people on wait lists. He hoped they'd take their business to another garage, only for them to assure him that they could wait. So, knowing that the day would be long, he put on a pot of coffee and got to work.

"Hey." Johnny walks into the garage, grabbing one of the hand rags and lifting one of the cars up with the ramp. "You look like crap."

"Thanks." Jason stands up, wiping his hands on his rag. "I hadn't noticed."

"Apparently you haven't looked in a mirror lately." Johnny smirks, locking the car into place. "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

"Liz is back in town." Jason concedes, walking around to start up the truck he's working on. "I saw her last night."

"Ah, miss first love." Johnny remembers the girl vividly. She was a beaut. "How did that go?"

"She was polite." Jason shuts off the engine, walking to the front to close the hood. One down, many more to go. "She said it was nice to see me."

"Ouch." Johnny winced. "That must have stung."

"It sucked." Jason admits, slapping on a sticker to mark that it was fixed and ready for pick up. "Its not like I expected anything else."

"True." Johnny shrugged. "Wanna hit the bars tonight?"

"Yeah." Jason sighed, walking over to the black motorcycle that he just brought in the other day. "I can go for that."

"Who knows, maybe we'll see miss first love there." Johnny laughs when Jason throws him a wrench. "Just saying."

"Shut up."

Elizabeth hated lawyers almost as much as she hated the police, but she had to do this. So, she kept her polite smile in place, listened to everything they had to say, signing every dotted line they put in front of her. Sign here. Initial there. Read through this, read that. By the time she was done, Elizabeth wanted to shoot something. Finally done with the signature part of the meeting, Elizabeth took all her copies and put them in her folder.

"Everything will be carried out according to plan." Mitch Carson assures. "All the debts have been paid off and the rest of the funds will be transferred into your account."

"Thank you." Elizabeth stands up, shaking the man's hand. "I appreciate you treating this as a priority."

"Aaron was an important client." Mitch says simply. "We're really, truly sorry for your loss."

"I appreciate that." Elizabeth says, sliding into her coat. "I trust you'll call me with any and all updates?"

"Of course." Don Carson says without hesitation, shaking her hand. "Take care, Ms. Webber."

She was growing real tired of being referred to as Ms. Webber. Its been a constant greeting for that last year. With a tight - polite - smile, Elizabeth walks out of the firm, getting into her car and screaming at the top of her lungs. She hated this. She hated everything about this. Once the pain subsided and she was calm once again, Elizabeth starts up the car and heads back to the safety of her studio. She'll see her grandmother and the rest of her family another day. Now, no, now all she wants is to be home.

**Let me know what you think.  
****All reviews appreciated.  
****Thanks.**

**-ROCkER**


	3. Chapter 3

With her dinner slow cooking on the stove, Elizabeth sits on the couch, flipping through her photo albums. Everyone had told her she was crazy - even Aaron - falling in love with a dying man. It wasn't like she planned it. It was the last thing she had been looking for. After things imploded with Jason, love was the last thing she wanted to find, but fate had a different plan like always.

It had been two beautiful years with him. Two years of being loved by a man that lived every day as if it were his last, making her appreciate life and being alive. It wasn't fair how he died. He was supposed to succumb to the disease, passing away - painlessly - in his sleep. She'd be able to accept it had he died that way, but he didn't.

One of life's many horrors, he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were having dinner in his hotel when there was an explosion in the vault. She had begged him not to take the elevator, but he wouldn't listen. It was the fastest way to get down to the vault and - being the owner - he had to make sure everyone was okay.

It wasn't too long before the elevator jammed and he was trapped between floors. Elizabeth will never forget that day for as long as she lived. The smell of the hotel burning, the sound of people running out of the building in fear, and the sound of the elevator dropping fifteen stories to the basement level with Aaron inside.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Thank god." Elizabeth whispers, closing the album and putting it away, thankful for the distraction.

Walking over to the stove, Elizabeth checks to see if her dinner was ready yet. Stirring it a couple times, she puts the fire on low and pulls open the door. It had been such a long time since she had smiled a genuine smile, but she couldn't help the smile that touched her lips.

"Robin." Elizabeth greets, accepting the hug from her best friend. "I thought you were in Paris."

"I was." Robin confirms, pulling away slightly to look at her. "But I figured you could use a friend."

"You're the best." Elizabeth steps aside, inviting her inside before locking the door. Checking and then double checking before relaxing.

"Hasn't gotten any better?" Robin refers to her checking and double checking the lock.

"No. I'm working on it." Elizabeth assures, shutting off her cooking before giving Robin a bottle of beer. "I finally finished the paperwork with the lawyers."

"That's good." Robin comments, sitting with her on the couch. "One less thing for you to worry about, right?"

"Yeah." Elizabeth shakes her head, downing half her beer. "So are you on a leave of absence or..."

"I'm on lend to General Hospital for as long as I'm needed." Robin concedes, putting her beer bottle down. "Mac's happy to have me back, so that's a plus."

"Speaking of Mac, I'm supposed to have dinner with him and the girls tomorrow night." Elizabeth almost forgot about that amidst everything else going on in her life. "Tell me you'll be there."

"Sure." Robin takes a gulp of beer before standing. "Speaking of dinner...you got enough for two in that pot."

"Always." Elizabeth follows Robin over to the stove. "Its kind of hard to go from cooking for two to cooking for one."

"I miss him, too." Robin pulls her into a warm embrace. "Aaron was an amazing man."

"Yeah." Elizabeth sighs, closing her eyes to fight off the tears. "He really was."

Jason finishes off the last truck for the night before closing down shop to go home and get washed up. He wasn't really into the whole drinking at bars anymore, but tonight he needed it. Over the years he has tried to use other women to fill the void, but none of them worked. One or two lasted a few months, but none stuck like he wanted them to.

Then he turned to alcohol. That wasn't the highlight of his life, but it did the trick of numbing him out. Of course it only lasted until the alcohol wore off and he was left with a major hangover. After one hangover where he didn't remember anything he did the night before, Jason stopped his binge drinking and stuck to working on motorcycles. Its the one thing he's good at and it didn't come with emotional baggage like women. One night stands really didn't get the meaning of one night...its in the name for crying out loud.

Getting home, Jason took a quick shower before getting dressed and heading back out. He wasn't sure how long he'd be staying out with the guys - if the bar thing doesn't work, he'll just hop on his bike again and ride until the sun rises.

"Yeah?" Jason answers his phone as he shuts off his engine outside of Jake's.

"Its me." her voice catches him by surprise. "I think we should talk. Are you busy?"

"No, I'm not busy." Jason glances over to the bar. "Name the place."

"My studio." Elizabeth glances around her home. "If that's okay with you."

"I'll be right there." Jason says before ending the call and sending a text to Johnny.

The boys in the bar weren't sure what happened to Jason, but Johnny had a pretty good idea and he couldn't help the smirk that graced his face. Jason was just that predictable when it came to miss first love. While the guys ordered up another round, Jason drove as fast as the bike could take him to her studio. Getting there, Jason took a deep breath before walking up the stairs to her studio. It seemed almost déjà vuish - walking up those stairs, anticipating seeing her.

"Hey." he greets when she opens the door.

"Hey." Elizabeth replies, stepping aside. "Come on in."

**Let me know what you think.  
****All reviews appreciated.  
****Thanks.**

**-ROCkER**


	4. Chapter 4

Elizabeth could see that he was confused - in was clear in his eyes and his posture. She wasn't really sure if asking him for help was the best idea, but Robin was right. If anyone could help her it was him. No matter what she felt towards him and how badly he hurt her - she needs the help if she's ever going to move on. She gets through the pleasantries - offering a drink and whatnot - until finally she gets down to it. She's a little nervous, their breakup (if you can call it that) is still in the back of her mind.

"This might sound crazy, but I called you here because I need your help." Elizabeth says, walking over to sit on the couch.

"My help?" Jason looks at her curiously, following her to sit down. "With what?"

"Self-defence." Elizabeth takes a deep breath. "I want you to teach me how to defend myself."

"What aren't you telling me?" Jason asks, arching his eyebrow - something in her eyes told him there was more to this.

"I've been through a lot over the years." Elizabeth's hands start to twitch, she's trying to refrain from locking the door and double checking it. "As a result of it, I'm slightly OCD."

"Obsessive compulsive?" Jason looks at her confusedly. "What exactly happened to you?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." Elizabeth says firmly. "Robin thinks that if I learnt how to defend myself, it'll make it easier to let go of my obsessive compulsion."

"Are you seeing a therapist?" Jason wasn't sure how to phrase anything.

"Yes, but apparently I won't be able to get over my OCD until I feel safe." Elizabeth explains, standing up to pace back and forth. "If you can't help me, I'll understand. We do have a lot of history between us."

"I'll do it." Jason says without hesitation. "I mean, if you want my help, I'm going to help you."

"Okay." Elizabeth lets out a deep breath. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Jason says, seeing a flicker of the girl he loved. "When do you want start?"

"As soon as possible." Elizabeth shoves her hands into her pockets, trying to stay in one place. "I have a meeting with the chief of staff at the hospital tomorrow morning, but I'm free any time between eleven and six."

"I have a few things to handle tomorrow." Jason mulls through his list of things to do the following day. "How does one o'clock sound?"

"Sounds okay." Elizabeth shakes her head. "Where?"

"I workout at the boxcar." Jason concedes, seeing a familiar emotion flash in her eyes, but it doesn't last. "We can train there."

"Okay." Elizabeth takes a deep breath. "One o'clock at the boxcar. I'll be there."

Taking that as his cue to leave, Jason walks over to the door and pulls it open. Taking one last look at her, he walks out of the studio and back to his bike. Elizabeth, on the other hand, closes the door and locks it. Checking and double checking to make sure it was secure. She lasted longer than she thought she would, not locking the door while he was there.

After taking a long bath, Elizabeth calls it a night, crawling into bed and shutting off the light. Tomorrow she'll be starting her self-defence training with her ex-boyfriend - what could possibly go wrong? While she lays snuggled in bed, Jason is riding his bike through the city. A million different thoughts running through his head, all of them about her - no surprise there.

He'd call Robin if he thought she'd actually tell him anything, but he knew she wouldn't. One of the things he likes about her is that she's loyal and she doesn't break anyone's trust. So instead of calling her up, Jason continues riding through the night. Hoping that things will be clearer by morning.

"Yeah?" Elizabeth answers her phone as she's getting ready for her meeting.

"Hey, what time is your meeting with Alan?" Robin questions, getting into her car and starting it up.

"In an hour, why?" Elizabeth fixing her hair into a tight bun.

"I'm gonna grab some breakfast at Kelly's before my shift." Robin says, buckling up. "Wanna meet me there?"

"Sure." Elizabeth grabs her keys, purse and coat. "I'm on my way."

Elizabeth locks her door, checking and double checking before leaving to the diner. A part of her really didn't want to go there, many residents of Port Charles going through that place on a regular basis. Getting there, she's approached by a few people, all curious as to why she was back after all these years. Thankfully Robin got there before she had to actually spill anything.

"How did it go with Jason?" Robin questions as they sit down at a table with their orders.

"He's going to help me." Elizabeth says as she slices her pancakes. "We're starting today at one."

"Did you tell him?"

"No." Elizabeth shakes her head. "I couldn't...I tried but the words just didn't form."

"You know he's going to be curious, right?" Robin points out. "No matter what happened between the two of you, he's gonna be worried."

"I know, but I can't care about that right now." Elizabeth takes a drink from her orange juice. "I need to get over my fears and, like you said, Jason's the best person to help me with that."

"How does it feel though?" Robin counters. "Being around him again. Seeing him after all these years...after everything that was said."

"I haven't really allowed myself to go there." Elizabeth admits, really hating that Robin was so concerned. It was great to have a friend like her, but she just didn't have answers to her questions.

"Well, good luck with that."

"Gee, thanks." Elizabeth takes a deep breath, knowing that she was most definitely going to need all the luck she can get when it comes to Jason.

**Let me know what you think.  
****All reviews appreciated.  
****Thanks.**

**-ROCkER**


	5. Chapter 5

Her meeting with Alan Quartermaine went pretty much how she thought it would. With her grandmother retired, he couldn't be more happier to have her working there. A part of her wasn't sure about following in Audrey Hardy's footsteps, but she needed to get back to work and this was a sure chance at a job. Mercy had been her first choice, but - when they told her there was a waiting period - Elizabeth couldn't take them up on it.

She needed a purpose and taking care of people is her purpose. When she first decided to become a nurse, it wasn't because it was what she wanted, it had been practical. Her art career wasn't picking up and her gram's voice kept playing in her head, telling her that she had one in a billion chance of actually becoming a world renowned artist - so nursing was her second and only choice.

It wasn't that long into her nursing career that she met Aaron. He helped her in ways that she never thought possible. She had been going through so much, five years on her own - no family to turn to, no friends that she trusted enough to confide in, with the exception of Robin. They didn't speak at first, outside of treatments and protocols, but then he started talking to her - wanting to get to know the nurse taking care of him, at least that's what he told her.

She wasn't sure what it was, but he had her confessing to things she never told anyone before. He got her talking about her first year on her own - how hard it had been to start off on her own in a new city - the problems she faced, the break-ins and spooky nights she spent alone.

It had been the third year on her own that she started becoming obsessive with the locks. Needing to check and double check, sometimes even triple check, just to be sure that she was safe. It took her a while before she realized she had a problem, resulting in her seeing a therapist. She went from doctor to doctor, but none of them could truly help her. Then she fell in love with Aaron and her life changed.

He made her feel safe. He taught her how to overcome it - moving in with her to help her feel safe - and slowly she stopped. The longer they were together, the easier it had been to only lock the door once and leave it be.

Then he died and it came back, worse than before. She tried to remember all the reasons she shouldn't be afraid, but none of them worked. After his death, she checked the door five times, sometimes six, anxiety attacks coming and going every now and then. The grief therapist diagnosed her as PTSD resulting in a relapse of her OCD.

Robin returned from her HIV awareness group early to be with her. She helped Elizabeth ease out of her PTSD - the anxiety attacks stopping, but the OCD only lessened, not really going away. From fix to six times, Elizabeth returned to only checking and then double checking.

Once she had been sure Elizabeth would be relatively okay, Robin took a position at one of the hospitals in Paris. Elizabeth had been sad to see her leave, but she knew that it was an important - amazing - opportunity for Robin. Not wanting to be alone anymore, no longer feeling safe where she was, Elizabeth made the choice to come home.

"Elizabeth?" a voice calls out to her, pulling out of her inner thoughts. "Are you here?"

"Yeah." she calls back, walking out of the boxcar. "You're late."

"Sorry." Jason sighs, shrugging out of his jacket before hopping up into the boxcar. "I got caught up with Sonny and...you know what, never mind. I'm sorry I was late."

"Is everything okay?" Elizabeth can see something was up by the look in his eyes. "You have that look in your eyes."

"You remember that after almost ten years?"

"You're hard to forget." Elizabeth remembers trying very hard to forget him - it didn't work. "So are you going to tell me what's up?"

"Sonny's having some problems in the business and he's asking if I want to work for him again." Jason could see the look in her eyes turn from shock to utter disbelief. "I haven't given him an answer yet."

"Huh." Elizabeth shakes her head - she couldn't believe that he was really considering returning to the mob. It was a miracle he had gotten out last time, he wouldn't be able to get out again.

"Huh what?" Jason looks at her intently, wondering if she'd be as blunt with him as she used to be. "If you've got something to say, say it."

"Its your life." Elizabeth says simply. "If you want to go work for Sonny again...its up to you."

"The girl I knew would've had a lot more to say than that." Jason points out - she had been labelled the rebel Webber for a reason - never abiding by anyone's rules. "Why are you holding back?"

"The girl you knew had her heart broken by the person she trusted most." Elizabeth says bitingly before taking a deep breath. "Can we just start training?"

"Liz..."

"Don't." Elizabeth states, shaking her head. "Just don't go there, okay? I can't handle it right now."

"Okay." Jason walks over to grab his fist wraps for her. "Lets get started then."

They trained for the next three hours, going through the basic positions and safety precautions. Elizabeth was thankful that he didn't try to talk about their past or make excuses for what happened between them. She wasn't exactly sure if she wanted an explanation for the way things ended.

Having enough for one day, they took a walk for ten minutes in silence to cool down. When it was time for them to go their separate ways - Elizabeth needing to get ready for dinner at Mac's and Jason going for a ride - they walked together to their vehicles.

"Same time tomorrow?" Jason asks, watching as she tosses her things into the car.

"You gonna be on time if I say yes?" Elizabeth counters with a slight smirk.

"Yeah." Jason shakes his head. "So is that a yes?"

"That's a yes." Elizabeth shakes her head. "See you then."

"Elizabeth, wait." Jason blurts out, stopping her from getting in her car. "When will you be able to handle it?"

"What?"

"You said you couldn't handle talking about us." Jason reminds her. "When will you be able to?"

"I don't know." Elizabeth replies honestly. "I doubt I'll ever be ready."

With nothing left to be said, Elizabeth got into her car while Jason straddled his bike, both going their own way - back to their own lives. She drives slowly, so many thoughts running through her mind, wondering why Jason wanted to talk about them after so many years. When she finally arrives at her studio, she takes a quick bath before getting dressed and heading out. She hopes that dinner with the Scorpios will take her mind off her own life.

Jason has an equally crowded mind as he rides through Port Charles. There was a lot he wanted to tell her, knowing that it might help her to know everything, but he couldn't push her. The look in her eyes told him that she was fragile as is, he didn't want to make, whatever was going on with her, worse than it already was.

"Elizabeth, I'm glad you could make it." Mac smiles brightly, hugging her in greeting. "Come in, come in. The girls are in the kitchen, they've been so anxious to see you again."

"I've missed them too." Elizabeth smiles, following him into the kitchen. "Did Robin show up yet?"

"She's outback." Mac confirms. "She wants to pick flowers for the table. You know how she is."

"Right." Elizabeth laughs softly. "Same old Robin."

"Liz!" Georgie exclaims, giving Elizabeth a hug in greeting. "You're really back! I told Maxie, but she had to see you for herself."

"Gossip in this town is hard to rely on." Maxie says simply with a shrug as she wipes her hands on the dish towel. "Forgive me for being skeptical."

"Dinner smells great." Elizabeth comments, hugging Maxie. "When did you get so good at that?"

"With Mac as a father, one must learn in order to survive." Maxie says teasingly. "Nice outfit. You could use a little upgrading, but its cute."

"I'm not going shopping." Elizabeth laughs softly when Maxie just shrugs and goes back to cooking. "I'm gonna go see if Robin needs help in the garden."

Walking outside, she finds Robin walking amongst the flowers, trying to decide which to pick for the center piece. She could remember spending so much time in that garden, laughing and talking like only two girls could, so many memories.

"Hey." Robin greets when she spots her. "How was the training?"

"It was...okay." Elizabeth sighs, following Robin to sit on the bench. "He wanted to talk, like we knew he would."

"And did you?"

"What do you think?" Elizabeth shakes her head. "Sonny offered him his job back."

"What?" Robin blurted out, unable to grasp Jason ever going back to the mob. "Is he stupid, simple, or slow? How can he even think about going back to work for him? Please, tell me you talked some sense into him."

"I didn't." Elizabeth sadly concedes. "Its not my place."

"If not you, then who?" Robin counters. "You have to talk to him, Liz. He cannot go back to working for Sonny."

"Why can't you talk to him?" Elizabeth challenges. "You're still his friend. I'm just his ex...if you can even call me that."

"No matter what happened in the end, you're the only one he has ever listened to." Robin says seriously. "Your opinion is the only one that has ever mattered to Jason. Please, you have to talk to him."

"If he wants to go back to work for Sonny, nothing I say will matter." Elizabeth couldn't believe Robin was doing this. "He's going to do what he has to do and I can't persuade him one way or the other."

"Liz...please." Robin stares into her eyes pleading. "It won't kill you to talk to him."

For the rest of the night she could think of nothing else but Robin's words. It won't kill you to talk to him. If that was true, why did Elizabeth feel like she'd go into cardiac arrest every time she spoke to him about the past? Calling it a night, she said her goodbyes and went home. Robin's words playing over and over again in her head. When morning came, Elizabeth took a quick shower and got dressed, deciding to talk to Jason after all.

"Johnny?" Elizabeth couldn't hide her surprise. "You work for Jason?"

"I like to think we're equals." Johnny smirks, hugging her in a warm embrace. "You're looking good, Liz."

"Thanks." Elizabeth smiles politely. "Is he here?"

"Inside working on a bike." Johnny concedes, opening the door for her. "Excuse the mess."

Elizabeth walks through the garage, the place seemed so fitting for both men. As she's walking to the work space, Elizabeth can hear rock and roll music playing in the background. Maybe some things did change over time. She never would have thought Jason would listen to music while he worked on bikes.

"Liz?" Jason stands up from his spot on the floor. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I bet." Elizabeth walks over to him. "Have you made a decision about Sonny?"

"Not yet." Jason shakes his head. "Why?"

"Just wondering." Elizabeth takes a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Are you seriously thinking about going back to work for him?"

"He needs help." Jason shrugs, tossing the hand towel onto the cart. "I know the business and he wouldn't need to train me."

"That makes it convenient for Sonny." Elizabeth looks at him intently. "What about you? Do you really want to return to that kind of life?"

"You fell in love with me when I was part of that life." Jason points out, noting the look of hurt that crosses her features. "Sorry. That wasn't fair."

"No. You're right." Elizabeth shakes her head. "I did fall in love with you while you were in that life, but you got out. Why would you go back to a life you hated so much?"

"Sonny needs me." Jason uses as his justification. "I don't see why I can't just help him."

"You know its not that simple." Elizabeth says seriously. "If you go back, you won't be able to get out again...you know that."

"You're right." Jason concedes. "But Sonny's going through a lot right now."

"I know I can't tell you what to do, but you wanted my opinion, so here it is." Elizabeth looks at him intently, wondering what he'll decide in the end. "You've got a good thing going here. You've still got so much to live for and going back to the business will end any chance of that. Don't throw your life away for something you don't even believe in. Trust me when I say this, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"Speaking from personal experience?"

"That doesn't matter." Elizabeth shakes her head. "You're gonna do what you gotta do regardless of what I say. I just hope you don't regret the choice you make."

Jason watches as she walks out of the garage. A part of him was touched that she took the time to talk to him about whether or not to work for Sonny. After their conversation the other day, he doubted she really even cared at this point. For her to go to his shop to talk to him, taking that initiative, it gave him hope that he could fix things with her. Hopefully get to a point of being friends again. Grabbing his cellphone from cart, Jason calls Sonny.

"Its me...thanks for the offer, but I can't return to work for you." Jason says into the phone. "Returning now will come with a sacrifice I can't make. Sorry."

**Let me know what you think.  
****All reviews appreciated.  
****Thanks.**

**-ROCkER**


	6. Chapter 6

Darkness surrounds her and she can feel a weight pressing down over her entire form. She tries her hardest to struggle against the weight, to remove it from atop her and free herself from it, but its no use. The heavier the weight presses down upon her, the stronger the fear becomes - gripping her tightly, making it hard to breathe.

"NO!" she shouts, shooting up in bed, gasping for air like it was going out of style. "No."

Holding her hand over her heart, Elizabeth tries her best to get her breathing back under control. If she can do that, it'll help get her heart rate back to normal as well. Her hands start to twitch, forcing her body to rise from her bed to make the venture to the door - checking and double checking the lock to be sure its in place.

"I'm home." she whispers to herself, walking over to her fridge and pulling it open. "I'm safe...I'm not in any danger here...I'm perfectly safe."

Pulling out a gallon of milk to pour into a glass, Elizabeth heats it up before making her way to her couch. Her heart rate starts to return to her normal as her breathing slows down. Folding her legs beneath her, she drinks her warm milk, hoping that it'll help her get calm enough to get back to sleep.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Her grip on the mug tightens as she glances at the time, it was too early for visitors, her heart racing once again. She sits completely still, staring at the door as if it would somehow break apart, leaving her without any protection against whoever has come knocking at her door.

"Liz, its me." his voice washing over her through the door, allowing her to relax out of her frightened stance. "Open up, please."

Taking a deep breath, she sets the mug down with a shaky hand, cursing herself for being afraid.

"Coming." she calls out to him, shutting her eyes tightly, hoping that she can fake it well enough for him. Whispering, "You're safe...nothing can happen to you...home is safe."

Pulling open the door she comes face to face with him, she could see the concern etched into his features and that had her a little annoyed. She hates when people have that look on their faces when they look at her. She's not pathetic. She doesn't need anyone's pity.

"What are you doing here?" she asks bluntly, arching her eyebrow at him.

"Can I come in?" he counters, seeing the beads of sweat that have trailed down her face.

"Answer the question." she states firmly, not having the patience for his need to answer a question with a question.

"I was on the docks when I saw your light go on." Jason admits, sliding his hands into his pockets. "You gonna let me in now?"

"I guess." she lets out a deep breath before pushing the door open wider as she steps back.

Elizabeth waits for him to walk into the studio before she closes the door, locking it before checking and double checking, after her nightmare she just didn't care if he saw her do it. When she turns around, she sees the concern on his face become more vibrant and she wishes he weren't there.

"Please stop looking at me like that." Elizabeth says as she walks past him to sit on the couch.

"Looking at you like what?"

"Like you feel sorry for me." she snaps, picking her mug back up. "I've had enough pity to last me a lifetime."

"I know what its like to be pitied." Jason reminds her, walking over to kneel down in front of her. "I'd never do that to you."

"Whatever." she takes a gulp of her milk before setting it back down. "Why are you here, Jason?"

"I told you already."

"You told me what you were doing." she reminds him. "Not why you were there."

"I..." Jason sighs, knowing there was no point in lying. "I was worried about you."

Standing up, Elizabeth walks away from where he's kneeling to stand by the window. She knew that would be his answer. A part of her was touched, a part deep down, but it was there. It would be so easy to fall back into familiar patterns, to let him comfort her, but the risks were too great. The price too high and she won't do it.

"Liz..." he voices as he stands up.

"I don't need you to worry about me." Elizabeth says before he can think up something to say. "I don't need you to pretend you care."

"I do care." he says, taking each step carefully as he makes his way over to her. "I know I hurt you before, but I never stopped caring about you."

"Stop." she turns to him, tears in her eyes. "Please, just stop."

"I care about you, Liz." he stops right in front of her. "If you're ever going to believe anything I say, believe that."

"You need to leave." she stares past him at the door. "Now."

"No." he takes hold of her hand in his, using his other hand to make her look at him. "I'm not leaving you like this."

"Please." she pleads, her reserve weakening. "Please leave."

"No." he says firmly, using a degree of his strength to pull her into his arms, wrapping them around her securely. "Its okay to be afraid, Liz."

"Coming from the man who's afraid of nothing." she mumbles, laying her head against his chest as she shuts her eyes tightly.

"I'm not fearless." he whispers, holding her close as her tears fall hard.

"Sure you aren't."

"I'm not." he pulls away, looking her in the eye. "I have things I'm afraid of."

"Like what?" she stares at him intently, wondering what a man like him could be afraid of.

"Seeing someone I love in pain and not being able to help them." Jason watched as a flicker of emotion filled her eyes before disappearing behind her mask. "I'm afraid of being powerless."

"I know the feeling." she mutters, walking away from him to the door. "You need to leave...its late."

"Liz..." his voice is pleading, he needed to be there - not really able to explain why. "Please."

In spite of all the warnings, in spite of all the pain, Elizabeth closes the door once again. Locking the door, checking and double checking before walking past him to the closet. Opening the door to pull out the extra pillow and blankets, she walks back over to him and hands it to him. In spite of it all, her heart still couldn't tell him no.

"You can stay on one condition."

"Name it." he says without hesitation.

"No more talking." Elizabeth says firmly, walking over to lay down in bed. "Okay?"

"Okay." he agrees, sitting down on the couch. "No more talking."

"Okay." she mimes, turning out the light before snuggling into her pillow.

Jason settles back against the couch, silently watching over her as she falls back into a deep slumber. He had been nervous about coming by, if not for Robin he probably wouldn't have had the courage to do so. Listening to his friend, Jason decided to just throw caution to the wind and go with it. If Robin thinks Elizabeth needs him then he's going to do whatever needs to be done to be there for her. Every part of him hoping that she'll let him.

**Let me know what you think.  
****All reviews appreciated.  
****Thanks.**

**-ROCkER**


	7. Chapter 7

She kept her breathing steady as she watched him from beneath her slightly closed eyelids. He was on the phone, obviously unaware that she had awoken, giving her the chance to appreciate his presence there. For a moment, she allows herself to remember the good times with him. To remember everything he had taught her, everything he had given her that could not be seen or held, simply felt within her soul.

Then the words, she had not expected, fall from his lips and all that was left within her is anger. She couldn't believe that she had thought any differently. Of course Robin had a hand in him being there, obviously he was more adept in manipulation that she had given him credit for.

Rising to her feet, Elizabeth folds her arms across her chest, anger filling every last fiber of her being. It was one thing for Robin to manipulate her, emotionally, into allowing Jason back into her life. Into talking to him about pursuing a job with Sonny again, but for her to do this...to purposely go behind her back and instigate him taking pity on her...suffice to say that her friend has a lot of explaining to do.

It didn't take long for Jason to realize that she was awake and staring at him intently. As he goes to end the call, Elizabeth's cellphone rings, saving him from anything she had prepared to say to him. He tried to speak, but she simply turned away from him to answer her phone.

"Yes, this is she." Elizabeth replies to the receptionist.

"Please hold while I transfer you to the chief of staff, Doctor Alan Quartermaine."

An annoying melody comes over the phone before Alan answers moments later.

"Elizabeth, I'm glad I caught you before your shift." Alan says as a greeting. "Would you mind coming straight to my office after you clock in. There are a few things I'd like to discuss with you."

"Of course, Dr. Quatermaine." Elizabeth says without hesitation. "I'm on my way now."

"Good, good." Alan says happily. "See you soon, then."

Ending the call, Elizabeth brushes past Jason to grab a pair of clothes before shoving it into her tote bag and slinging it over her shoulder. Jason tries to talk to her, but she simply glares at him, snatching up her coat and purse, proceeding to yank open the door.

"I don't know what either of you were thinking, but I'm no one's charity case!" Elizabeth snaps, gripping tight to the strap of her tote bag. "Show yourself out and, for your sake, do not be here when I get off."

"Let me explain, please!"

"I'm not stupid enough to let you do that!" Elizabeth states angrily. "I should have known better than to trust you!"

"Dammit!" Jason curses loudly when she slams the door behind her.

She drives as fast as she can, clocking in before using the locker room shower to get ready for work. After successfully calming down and getting dressed, Elizabeth makes her way up to Alan's office to find out what he wanted.

"You wanted to see me?" Elizabeth says as she inserts half her body through the opening in the door.

"Please, come inside." Alan gestures to the chair across from him. "Have a seat."

"Did I do something wrong?" Elizabeth's first instinct kicks in as she sits down.

"Good, God, no." Alan dismisses her concerns. "You've done perfectly since you started working here."

"Oh...then what is this about?" Elizabeth questions. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Well, you see, Dr. Kevin Collins has been awarded a grant to open a rape survivor group." Alan explains. "I'm calling in a few of the nurses to put together a roster for the department."

"And you want me to be a part of it?"

"If you want to, that is." Alan confirms, smiling warmly. "I've known you for most of your life and I know you're an all around good person. The group can use a person like you on the team."

"I don't know about that..."

"I do." Alan says with conviction. "It would mean a lot to me to have you on staff with the group."

"Um..." Elizabeth taps her fingers on the sides of her legs, nervously wishing that she could say no. "Sure. It sounds like a really great opportunity to really help the people that need it most."

"That's what I thought you'd say." Alan smiles happily. "You'll report to Dr. Collins first thing tomorrow. Today, I want you to spend your time filling out the proper paperwork with human resources and get everything squared away for your first day. Marie will be expecting you."

Making a respectful exit, Elizabeth makes her way down to human resources to do as she has been told. All the while, thoughts of Jason cloud her mind, wondering if it had all been because of Robin or if he really wanted to be there for her.

"How mad are you?" Robin approaches her cautiously.

"You had no right to do what you did." Elizabeth says seriously, handing the paperwork to Marie and thanking her for her help. "Good intentions or not..."

"I know. I was wrong." Robin cuts her off, smiling slightly. "But I did mean well."

"Don't ever do it again." Elizabeth says sternly. "Jason and I...we don't need you in the middle, okay?"

"Okay." Robin says without hesitation. "It was a one time thing...I swear. Forgive me?"

"What do you think?" Elizabeth pulls open the door. "I'm up for my lunch hour, wanna grab a bite to eat at Kelly's?"

"Sounds good." Robin follows along before linking her arm with Elizabeth's when they walk out of the HR office. "Can I say one last thing about Jason without you biting my head off?"

"Only one?"

"He really does care for you." Robin insists, her voice warm and loving. "I don't know what your break up was about, but I know he still cares about you...now more than ever."

"You drive." Elizabeth changes the subject, releasing her arm. "I'm starving."

Robin lets talk of Jason drop for the moment, starting up the car and driving them to Kelly's for lunch. She knows for sure that, in spite of Elizabeth's outward appearance, she wanted Jason there and - more so - she needs him there. With Robin's luck, they arrive at the diner just as Jason's walking out of it.

"Can we talk, please?" Jason addresses Elizabeth.

"Yeah...I think we should." Elizabeth turns to Robin. "See you later?"

"Definitely." Robin says instantly. "Have fun."

Jason guides her to the docks, taking their usual spots on the bench, both overwhelmed with memories of the past.

"I'm sorry." Jason breaks the silence that has fallen upon them. "What Robin and I did was wrong...I know that. I just don't know how to talk to you anymore. Before we broke up, it was easy, but now..."

"I'm sorry, too." Elizabeth concedes with a sigh. "I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did."

"I deserved it."

"Even so...it wasn't right." she counters. "I want to believe that you care about me. That I meant something to you all those years ago..."

"You did...you do." Jason cuts her off, pleading with her to believe him.

"You broke my heart, Jason." Elizabeth says seriously, tears filling her eyes. "I trusted you. I gave you my heart, something I was afraid to do, and you hurt me. You broke me apart inside and it took everything I had to let you go."

"I wish I could take it back...all of it...but I can't." Jason's eyes fill with tears as hers fall down her cheeks. "All I can say is that I'm sorry."

"I know." Elizabeth swipes away her tears, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. "I'm sorry for crying...at least now you know why I don't like talking about us."

"Don't apologize for crying." Jason takes her hands in his. "I know things are still bad between us, but maybe we can try to be friends?"

"Friends, huh?" Elizabeth smiles slightly. "You think we can manage that?"

"I hope so."

"Me, too." Elizabeth takes a deep breath. "There's no harm in trying, right?"

"Right."

"Okay." Elizabeth shakes her head. "Friends it is then."

Settling into the bench, the two friends stare out at the ocean for the remaining of her lunch. Jason knew that it would be a long road back to truly being friends, but this was a start. At the moment, a start was exactly what he needed. She wasn't ready for the truth, he could see that, but he will find a way to tell her everything that he needs her to know. For now, he'll settle for friendship and work on building it up. Hopefully, getting her to a place where she trusts him to help her again and - finally - tell him all she went through over the years.

**A/N: ****Let me know what you think.**

**Appreciate the reviews for the last update.**

**-ROCkER**


	8. Chapter 8

Elizabeth spent most of her night wondering if she could really be friends with Jason. After everything that she had been through, she just wasn't sure she could trust him again, but it didn't mean she wouldn't try. In spite of all the risks, she wants to try. To at least get him back in her life as a friend if nothing else.

When morning came, Elizabeth decides to put thoughts of Jason out of her mind and heads to her first day with the rape survivors group. Apparently, a lot of women have already signed up for the group, along with a few men.

Getting dressed, forcing herself to stay in the present, Elizabeth heads to Kelly's for her morning coffee. She was a little apprehensive of seeing Robin that morning. Though, she has forgiven her friend, Elizabeth just didn't appreciate what she had done.

Robin has always been a big supporter of her and Jason, but it was time that her friend let go of that dream and moved on. She and Jason will never make it to that point again and she just had to accept that. Elizabeth accepted it a long time ago and now its Robin's turn.

"Hey, you." Robin greets her when she walks into the diner. "I heard you accepted Alan's offer?"

Elizabeth looks at her intently, arching her eyebrow in question.

"No. I didn't say anything." Robin insists, sighing at the fact that Elizabeth would even suggest it. "Alan offered me a spot, too, but when I declined he told me you accepted."

"Oh." Elizabeth walks past her to the counter. "Yeah...I accepted."

"Are you sure you can handle it?"

"I'll know when I get there." Elizabeth says simply, ordering her coffee. "Robin, I need you to make me a promise."

"Okay." not necessarily agreeing to make it, but letting her know she'll hear it.

"I need you to promise me that you will never tell Jason about the years away." Elizabeth says seriously. "He can never know about any of it, understand?"

"Elizabeth..."

"Never, Robin." she says sternly. "If he finds out, it'll be because I told him. Until that time comes, if ever, you can't tell him anything. Promise me."

"Please don't make me promise that."

"Robin, I mean it." Elizabeth pays for her coffee, turning back to look at her friend. "Promise me or I swear I'll never tell you anything ever again."

"That's not fair."

"Neither is what you did." Elizabeth counters. "Talking to Jason about me without telling me wasn't fair, yet you did it."

"Fine." Robin concedes. "I promise, okay?"

"You promise what?"

"I promise to never tell Jason about what happened to you after you moved away." Robin says begrudgingly. "Happy?"

"Yeah." Elizabeth smiles slightly. "You can't always be in the middle of us, Robin, you know that."

"I just want you happy." Robin says seriously. "I want you to move past it all and Jason is the best person to help you do that."

"I have to get to work." Elizabeth takes a deep breath, knowing she was right, but not voicing it. "Enjoy your day off."

Walking out of the diner, she makes her way to the hospital, not at all sure how she'll feel once she gets there. She tries to prepare herself for it, reminding her that she has moved past it, that she can do this. That she can help other people get past it. She can do this. She can.

"Elizabeth." Dr. Collins greets her. "Good, I'm glad you're here."

"Hello, doctor." Elizabeth greets, walking over to him.

"As you can see, we're really busy." Dr. Collins gestures around the waiting area. "I need you to look over the files on that desk and choose the one you feel you can best help."

"You want me to choose one?"

"Well, only you know which case you can truly help." Dr. Collins explains. "The other nurses and volunteers will be coming in soon. After which, they'll choose their case, just like you."

"Right." Elizabeth glances at the files. "Okay."

"Welcome to the team!" he says cheerfully, turning to walk away. "Let the others know about the files, will you?"

She didn't have time to reply because he was already heading towards his office. With a sigh, Elizabeth walks over to the files, going over them to find one that she can best help. She wished he'd just hand her a file and tell her to get to work, like the head nurse usually did, but she wasn't a floor nurse anymore and she had to remember that.

For most of her shift, Elizabeth was fine, helping the other nurses start off before she handled her case. She ended up picking a sixteen year old girl, raped by her jock boyfriend at a party. Elizabeth could tell the girl was shaken up still, the rape having happened a year ago.

She started their meeting as friends, wanting to help her, letting her talk about whatever she was feeling. Elizabeth tells her that she understands, having gone through it before, letting the girl know that she was brave for speaking out and seeking help.

By the end of her shift, Elizabeth was on the verge of exploding, the memories of the past coming back to choke her. Letting Dr. Collins know that she was clocking out, Elizabeth runs from the wing, making it all the way to the roof. It was the fastest place to get to for fresh air. She hadn't expected to run into anyone, especially not him.

"Hey." he says soothingly, holding her close, feeling her physically shaking. "Shh...I'm here."

She lets him hold her. Shutting her eyes, taking deep breaths to help regain control of herself. The memories start to fade as he holds her, returning to the box she keeps them in, knowing that she was safe and they were nothing but memories.

"Sorry." she steps out of his embrace, finally calm enough to do so.

"Its okay." Jason assures her, seeing that she was exhausted. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine." Elizabeth walks past him, over to the railing. "I'm fine."

"Good to hear." he says, walking over to stand beside her. "Now tell me the truth."

"Jason..."

"I can see that something's bothering you." Jason says seriously. "You looked terrified when you ran into me."

"I'm fine." she says, not meeting his eyes. "Okay? I'm fine."

"You keep saying that, but I'm not believing it." Jason turns her to look at him. "You don't have to tell me, I know you're not ready. Just don't tell me you're fine when you're not."

"Okay." Elizabeth sighs, shaking her head. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." he takes her hands in his. "I'm not someone you need to apologize to, okay?"

"Okay." she says simply.

"Come on." he strokes her hands softly with his thumbs. "I'll drive you home."

"Okay." she replies, not having the energy to argue the point, simply allowing him to do what he wants. "Thank you."

**A/N: ****Let me know what you think.**

**Appreciate the reviews for the last update.**

**-ROCkER**


	9. Chapter 9

Well into the night, Jason and Elizabeth sit up talking about pretty much anything. Their past still of limits, what happened to her along with it, but still they found lots to talk about. He tells her about starting up the shop, how hard it had been at first, not having the danger element to thrive on, but he adjusted well enough.

They talk about Johnny leaving the business right after him, joining Jason in starting up the shop. It had been even harder for him to adjust than it had been for Jason, but they've settled into their partnership a lot smoothly than they had anticipated.

She tells him about meeting Aaron. How hard it had been for her to open her heart to him, but he made it easy for her to fall in love with him. She tells him about the kind of man Aaron had been, how he had lived and how he treated her. How he made her feel safe and loved.

It was hard for Jason to hear, but he listened, happy that she had found a way to feel again. That she had been able to move on and find love when he broke her apart. Talk then turns to losing Aaron, how hard it had been for her, how shattered she had felt.

Though he didn't want them to, he had to give in and agree that it was time to sleep. So, he waits for her to get comfortable, watching her as she falls into a peaceful slumber. He didn't know how to feel about everything she has told him, but he knows that he won't be getting much sleep tonight. If any, at all.

Their talk paired with the look she had on her face when she ran into him on the roof are what keep him awake while she's fast asleep. Remaining on the couch, Jason runs through their conversation a couple times. Whoever this Aaron guy was, Jason was thankful to him, mainly for the fact that he had put Elizabeth back together - however long that lasted.

He was about to fall asleep when he heard her tossing and turning on the bed. Fearing for her, he gets up and walks over to her, trying to wake her up. The reaction he received would probably stay with him for as long as he lived. She shot up, swinging at him, before backing into a corner, yelling at him. She was afraid of him. Shouting at him to leave her alone.

"Don't touch me." she says once she realizes who she is. "I'm sorry for shouting at you, but please...please don't touch me."

"Okay." he replies, holding his hands up. "I won't touch you."

As he backs away, Elizabeth makes her way to the sink, washing her face as she forces the darkness from her mind. The nightmares were getting worse and she knew she'd have to find another therapist here in Port Charles. Talking with her therapist had helped a little and she needed some kind of help.

"I'm okay now." she says, once her breathing is back to normal. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Its okay." he walks over to her, cautiously so. "Can I touch you now?"

"Yeah...I'm okay now."

Slowly, Jason wraps his arms around her, holding her close as she clings to him. He could tell that, whatever happened to her, he wouldn't like. In fact, he's certain that he'll hate it. He knows better than to ask her, though, knowing that she wouldn't tell him. They weren't there yet and he didn't want to ruin any progress they've made so far.

"I'm calm enough to get to sleep now." she says, pulling away from him. "Thank you for holding me...I...I needed it."

"Anytime." he says softly, tucking away a loose strand of hair from her face.

"Okay." she takes his hand in hers and guides him to the bed. "How about now?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you held me just then...I felt safe." Elizabeth explains, not giving a damn about the past or any of it in that moment. "I need you to hold me while I sleep...can you do that?"

"Yeah." he's surprised by the request, but he won't deny her anything right now. If being in his arms helps her feel safe, he'll hold her for as long as she wants him.

The night is long for him, not even daring to close his eyes or sleep a wink. No. He wants to relish in this moment. For the first time since she has returned to his life, Elizabeth is letting him protect her. Even if its only from her nightmares, Jason will take what he can get.

She's letting him hold her and protect her, something he never thought he'd get the chance to do and he won't miss it by sleeping. So, laying there with his arms around her, Jason listens to her breathing. He watches over her through the night, whispering to her when she starts to become afraid.

"Jason?" she says on a hushed tone, turning in his arms.

"Yeah?" he mumbles, not having slept at all.

"Thank you." she closes her eyes and rests her head against his chest. "I wanted to believe I could count on you...and now I do...thank you."

"Anytime." he says softly, kissing her forehead. "I'm going to always be here for you...I promise you that."

"I can't think of always..." she replies, relishing in whatever time she had left in his arms. "But...I appreciate it."

They lay like that for a while longer, neither really wanting to let go, but her overactive mind tells her that its time and she does. He waits for her to get ready for work, thankful that she allows him to buy her coffee and drop her off at the hospital.

They say their goodbyes before going their separate ways. He watches her enter the building, believing that their lingering friendship has finally taken a turn for the better. Jason makes a mental note to come back before she gets off, knowing that she will probably need him again, before heading to the shop.

He may be tired but he didn't care. He'd lose a hell of a lot more nights of sleep if it mean that he would be repairing his friendship with her. Because in the end, that's all he wants and that's all that matters.

**A/N: ****Let me know what you think.**

**Appreciate the reviews for the last update.**

**-ROCkER**


	10. Chapter 10

There didn't seem to be enough hours in a working day for her. Working with the support group, her hours are consistent, no more middle of the night calls, but Elizabeth could see that the girls she spoke to would need a lot more help than she can provide them in a single session.

Some were afraid to even go to the first session, others unwilling to come back for another one, but somehow she manages to convince them that she can help them. That she can talk it through with them and help them see that it wasn't their fault. That, for those who were virgins, it wasn't sex. It was an attack and that they were still pure in her eyes.

Talking to the girls, a few guys as well, Elizabeth finds herself facing her own attack. Every new person she meets with, Elizabeth is forced to confront her own problems and help them see that she is just like them. That if she could face what happened to her, so could they.

Giving advice, that's easy, helping them through it and letting them see that it wasn't their fault...that's a little harder but she can do it. Taking her own advice, reminding herself that it wasn't her fault and believing it...now that was a challenge all its own.

For the last two weeks, Jason has picked her up from work and stayed the night with her. They talk about their day before telling each other about their time away. When he thinks she'll open up about what happen, she ends up changing the subject and leave the pain hanging there.

She wanted to tell him, to confide in someone, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It wasn't right to weigh him down with all the pain of her past, not that she thinks he'd mind because she knows he wants her to open up to him. He just didn't deserve that.

"Hey." Jason rubs his hands up and down her back, hugging her, like he has every time he picks her up from work. "I'm here."

"I'm trying." she mutters against his chest, shutting her eyes. "Its just hard."

"I know." he whispers, simply holding her close. "Its gonna be okay, Liz."

"You say that every time." she replies, pulling away slightly, like she always does, before pulling away completely. "Robin told me she invited you to have dinner at Mac's tonight."

"Yeah...you going?"

"Afraid to go without me?" she says teasingly, turning to walk with him to his waiting SUV.

"Honestly...yeah." he admits, opening her door for him. "Even though I'm out of the business, Mac still doesn't really like me."

"True." she shrugs, getting into the passenger seat. "I think I'll just stay at home tonight and paint."

"Now that's just mean." he says seriously, closing her door and getting into the driver's seat. "Come on...say you'll go."

"Of course I'm going." she laughs softly. "They're my family...I always go there for dinner when I can."

"What about your Gram?" he counters, starting up the car. "Do you go over there when you can?"

"You can just drop me off at home so you can get ready for dinner at Mac's." Elizabeth says simply, turning to look out the window. "I can just drive my car after I get ready."

"Liz..."

"You better hurry or we'll both end up being late." she insists, not wanting to talk about her real family. Still not having been by to see them yet.

Leaving the conversation there, Jason takes off to her apartment, knowing that he messed up somehow. Though, he could tell she didn't want him to, Elizabeth allows him to change in her studio after he tells her that he brought his extra clothes with him. Feeling like they were slipping back to how things were before she allowed him back in her life, Jason scrambles to find a way to stop it from happening.

"Elizabeth, talk to me." he stops her from walking out of the studio.

"There's nothing to say and we're going to be late." she counters, securing her jacket around her.

"Don't do that." he urges her, almost begging her to stop. "Don't shut down on me again."

"I'm not doing this with you right now, Jason." she snaps, staring at him irritably. "We're going to be late."

"Then we'll be late!" he says bitingly, unable to stop himself. "If I said something wrong, tell me! Get mad at me or cuss me out...do something!"

"I am not doing this with you right now." she states, trying to move past him but he doesn't budge. "Jason!"

"Elizabeth!" he counters, staring at her intently. "You can't keep doing this. I'm not going to let you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do." he wishes she would just drop the act and realize that he can see right through it. "You've lost your fight, Elizabeth, and you need to find a way to get it back."

"Get out of my way, Jason." she says angrily. "Now!"

"No!"

"Jason!"

"Elizabeth!"

"UGH! Dammit, Jason!" she shouts, spinning on her heels. "You always have to have it your way, don't you?! Why can't you just leave well enough alone?"

"Because its not well at all and you know it." he counters, keeping his spot by the door while she walks further into the studio.

"Fine." she spins on her heels and looks at him, tears in her eyes. "I haven't seen to my grandmother since I got back...I just can't bring myself to see her."

"Why not?" Jason implores, seeing that her defense was crumbling.

"Because...because I can't face her after everything that's happened." she sighs, swiping at her tears, only for more to fall. "I'm ashamed of the person I've become and I can't bring myself...I can't see her and have her ask about my time away...I just can't handle it...if she sees the way I am...she'll know...she'll..."

"Its okay." he hates himself for breaking her down to this. Walking over to her, he holds his arms open, silently begging for her to let him hold her.

She doesn't move towards him right away, but eventually she walks into his arms and nestles into his body. Wishing he could take away her pain, Jason simply holds her close, hopping it was enough for now. He knew that she hadn't seen her grandmother, Audrey having told quite a few people about it, but Jason would never have guessed the reason behind it.

How could she possibly be ashamed of herself? She's been through a lot, not that he knows exactly what happened, but he knows enough to know that she was just broken. There's nothing wrong with it and all she needed was someone to help her see the beauty she still possessed. The strength she still has and the will power to move past it all.

"I'm sorry for pushing you." he says in a hushed tone, feeling her physically shaking as she cries. "I'm so sorry."

He holds her close for a while longer, until her tears stop and she's no longer shaking. He wants to talk to her about what she said, but he knows that she wouldn't be able to handle it. That and she was already heading out the door. She didn't want to be any later than she already was.

"Its about time!" Maxie comments, hugging Elizabeth before eyeing Jason intently and showing them into the dining area.

"You look beautiful, Maxie." Elizabeth says softly. "Go shopping again?"

"Of course." Maxie smirks, showing them where they'll be seated. "Mac's handling some last minute things in his office. Georgie's upstairs and Robin's in the garden."

"Thanks." Elizabeth could feel herself returning to normal by the second. "I'm gonna go see if Robin could use some help."

Before Jason could stop her, Elizabeth slipped out into the backyard, leaving him with Maxie as company.

"Jason." she says plainly.

"Maxie." he replies, eyeing her intently.

With a smirk, she walks over to him, staring up at him with pure sincerity. "Hurt her and I will kill you." Maxie says in a calm, firm tone. "Remember, my dad's a cop...I know things."

Leaving her threat hanging there, Maxie walks out of the kitchen in direction of her room. Dinner wouldn't be starting for a few minutes and she wanted to read her new magazine. Jason, on the other hand, wasn't sure if he should be laugh at the threat or be very afraid of the young woman.

"Jason's here?" Robin questions, snipping off a few more roses.

"Yeah." she says simply, taking the flowers from Robin as she cuts them. "If I'm not careful, he's going to force every last secret out of me."

"Good." Robin replies, turning to face her. "Someone has to."

"It'll kill him to find out, Robin." she says seriously. "You know that."

"Its been five years, Liz." Robin points out. "Better that he lives with it than for the stress to kill you."

"Robin..."

"You're my best friend." Robin states. "I'd rather Jason deal with the truth than for you to live like this forever."

"He doesn't deserve it." Elizabeth sighs, fiddling with the roses. "No matter what happened between us or how much he hurt me...he doesn't deserve the truth...its not fair."

"What you're going through, Liz..." Robin forces her to look at her. "That's what's not fair. Tell him."

"I'll think about it, okay?" Elizabeth concedes. "Its the best I can give you, right now."

"Fine." Robin shrugs, wrapping one arm around Elizabeth. "Lets get inside before Mac realizes Jason's here."

"Eh...or we could wait until he does."

"This coming from the girl that doesn't want him to hurt with the truth?"

"Doesn't mean he doesn't deserve what Mac does to him."

"Good point."

**A/N: ****Let me know what you think.**

**Appreciate the reviews for the last update.**

**-ROCkER**


	11. Chapter 11

Dinner was tense to say the least. Robin knew it probably wasn't a good idea to invite Jason to dinner, but she just had to do it. Between work and spending time with her family, she's hardly seen or spoken to either Elizabeth or Jason.

She was glad, however, that while she hasn't spent much time with them, they've been spending time together. She could see the good that it has done to Elizabeth, having Jason devoting himself to her in every way that matters.

Mac was making the dinner really hard for Jason, not that she or Elizabeth were complaining, Maxie got a kick out of it as well, but Georgie did her best to keep the peace. She was always the one to get Mac to ease up when he gets that way.

"I can drop you home, if you want." Mac says to Elizabeth as they're saying their goodbyes.

"That's okay, Mac." she says softly. "I came here with Jason. He can drop me home."

"I don't mind, really." Mac insists, not happy with Jason being back in her life after all the pain he caused.

"Let her go, Uncle Mac." Robin says, appearing by his side. "Jason is more than capable of taking her home. You, however, need to help with clean up."

"Fine, fine." Mac relents, hugging Elizabeth once again. "You call me if you need anything, okay? Even if you want me to arrest him."

"I'll keep that in mind." she says softly, kissing his cheek. "Thanks for dinner, Mac."

"Anytime, sweetheart." Mac assures before watching her leave with Jason.

"She'll be fine, Uncle Mac." Robin says softly, closing the door before linking arms with him. "Come on...the girls could use our help."

They ride in silence as they leave Mac's house. Jason feels like he has pushed her enough for one day, promising himself to keep at it another day. He could see that it was damn near killing her, keeping what happened to her away from him, and he couldn't let it continue.

Never in his life did he regret anything more than he regrets pushing her away. He really believed it was the right thing to do, but now he feels like it was the worst decision he has ever made. Maybe, if he had stayed with her, none of this would have happened. She wouldn't be broken like she is. She wouldn't be in so much pain.

"Are you going to stay with me tonight?" Elizabeth questions as they near the turn to her studio.

"I won't if you don't want me to." he replies, hoping she'll let him, even after what happened.

"I want you to." she admits, staring out her window. "I'm just not sure you should."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to see me like that again." she says seriously, turning to look at him. "I almost broke down right in front of you and I never want you to see me like that again."

"Too bad." he replies, parking in the parking lot. "I plan on being the one to be there whenever it does happen."

"Jason..."

"You were right." he replies. "You and I...there's a lot of history between us. I want to tell you why I did what I did...why I pulled away from you...but you're not ready and I can see that. Its not going to stop me from being here for you, though, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"Where was this drive when you pushed me away?" she counters, staring at him.

"I hurt you, I know that." he says softly, gently caressing her cheek. "I'll regret that for as long as I live, but I'm here now...I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you get past this."

"I don't want to need you." she whispers, staring into her eyes. "I don't want to need you because I don't want to be hurt again...but I do...I need you, Jason."

"I'm never going to hurt you again." he promises, laying his forehead against hers. "Never again...I promise you that."

Without another word spoken, the two of them get out of his SUV and head up to her studio. She knows that she shouldn't let herself feel anything for him, but he's pushing her so hard that she just can't help it. Whenever she wakes up to him, she remembers the good times in their relationship and she's hit by the feelings she has long since buried.

She doesn't understand why he's so devoted to her now, having told her that he didn't love her, but she doesn't want it to end. Elizabeth knows that she'll end up telling him everything, he has that way about him, always pushing the right buttons until she caves...but she hopes he doesn't break when he finds out.

For now, though, she'll keep it hidden for as long as she can. She'll fight every instinct and she'll force herself to keep it away from him for as long as she can manage. No matter what happened, no matter what was said or done, he doesn't deserve to hurt. And, when he finds out, that's exactly what he'll do. He'll hurt.

"Goodnight." he whispers, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close.

"Goodnight." she replies, closing her eyes as she allows herself to feel safe, having only locked the door and checked it once for certainty. It was getting easier, but she wasn't there yet.

Jason noticed the subtle change, hoping that he can get her to feel safe enough to only lock it once and leave it be. For now, he'll accept the progress she has made and leave it be. Watching her sleep for a little while longer, Jason waits for her to fall into a deep slumber before he succumbs to his fatigue.

Elizabeth will wake up scared and frightened, like she has every morning so far, but he'll take it. He can and will handle whatever she has to dish out because, somehow he knows, this is his fault. Whatever she's going through, whatever happened to her, its because of him. That much he's sure of.

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews!**

**Can't wait to hear what you think.**

**- ROCkER**


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